Wednesday 12 September 2012

Loneliness of being a new mum


All through my life I’ve had periods where I have  felt really lonely. I have tried to understand why I should feel like this.  I have some lovely friends, great family and brilliant work colleagues and yet I still feel isolated and lonely at times.

One of the loneliest periods in my life was when I was a new parent, my son was 4 months old, my husband was working away two weeks at a time and we had just moved to a new area, so on the face of it I had good reason to feel lonely and isolated.  And I’m sure I’m not the only person to feel like this!

These days it is even easier to feel lonely; the extended family is a thing of the past.  If you are a single mum with only young children for company, it’s very likely you are feeling isolated. With social networking, like Facebook and Twitter, it’s easy to have loads of ‘friends’  but  there is no real connections.  You really can’t beat a telephone call or meeting face to face fo a good chat.

So what can you do to overcome these feelings and meet new people and make more friends.  Here are some suggestions:

Join Parent and Toddler Club, sometimes called Mother and Baby Club or Play and stay club; check out www.netmums.com for details of local clubs.  This is what I did after spending weeks feeling isolated and alone, I came to the decision that no one was going to come knocking on my door to be my friend, why would they, they didn't know I existed. It was the best decision I've ever made and yet I still had to work at making friends.  I got to know some of the mothers over a couple of weeks and then plucked up the courage to invite them to my home for coffee and the rest as they say is history.

You could enrol your child in a group such as Sing and Sign, not only good for you and baby but also useful for meeting other mum’s with children the same age. For a local club check out www.singandsign.com or Baby Gym, again good for you and baby, a good website is www.tumbletots.com.  There are many activities you can do with your baby and clubs to join, you just need to do a bit of research on the internet or check out the local free magazines like ABC which is pack full of essential information for parents.
And don't forget the National Childbirth Trust (NCT), they have regular coffee mornings and nearly new sales so lots of opportunities to meet other Mums, their website address is www.nct.org.uk.
If you have had experience of being isolated as a parent, it would be great to share your story and offer any tips on how you overcame this issue for other blog readers.
Check out my website for free ebook and Taster coaching session. www.lorraineburwood.co.uk